Home.

So life is about finding what makes you happy and trying to maintain that happiness for as long as you can. Unfortunately it's not as easy as trapping it in a jar like a lightning bug. Happiness is hard to find and even harder to maintain once its found. Although to come people happiness just comes naturally waking up in the morning with a glowing smile from cheek to cheek. I wish some days I was that person but evidently I'm not. Especially at this phase in my life I'm especially trying to cherish the moments that do make me happy and try as best as possible not to take things for granted. When everything that made me happy for the past few months and even recent years is 300 miles away its hard to be as optimistic as I'd normally be. The people who just seeing them brightened my day and getting hugs from more than one person was a daily occurrence. It's something people aren't capable of understanding until they've experienced it like I didn't think I'd be this depressed or unhappy right away coming "home". It's as though I've lost the meaning of "home" and the concept of what a home is and what it represents. I don't really care what webster's has to say as the meaning of home I just know in my mind I have no idea what it is anymore. I feel like home isn't a specific place but a feeling of acceptance where your comfortable with yourself and I assume your surroundings. So home could be pretty much anywhere if you think along those lines. A person could even be classified as home which sounds like a line from a movie "you make me feel like home" which I honestly think is cheezy. My house no longer feels like a home, my apartment at the end didn't feel like a home which therefore results in the present predicament. I have no idea what I consider home or who I consider myself comfortable enough with to call it or them "home".